Depression doesn’t take a vacation because you do.

Hi there, thanks for joining me today. *gestures for you to sit down and pours you a cup of tea*
Today I wanted to talk about something that hit me in the face this past week like a baseball bat. Depression doesn’t play nice.
In fact, none of this fallen world plays nice. *takes a sip.*

I was a day or two into our stay at home vacation when I was hit with a depressive episode. Because there was company in our house, I struggled to keep a firm lid on my irritation and spaciness.

So I ended up taking some herbal pills by the fistful everyday to help so I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of my parent’s old friends.
But as I downed pills the second day in a row and struggled to feel. I realized what it was. Depression.

*fondles warm mug and bites into a cookie.* You see, I just thought it was my introvert meter needing to be refilled. But when I looked closer, listening to my body and my mind, I came to the sickening realization that I was fighting this old beast again.
It hurt to realize that I didn’t get a break from fighting. It hurt that I didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to my mother(I jokingly refer to her as my underpaid therapist) in front of these old friends.
So I suffered alone.

God oh so gently reprimanded me for that.
He guided me to journal oh so intensely and to find some time with my mother alone. He also led me to tell some of my friends over at ‘The King’s Daughter’s Writing Camp’ so that they could intercede for my behalf.
He also led me to do many things that are on the list I’m about to share with you. I hope it helps.

But please, oh please. Remember this. You can do all the right things in the world and it not fix the problem. And that’s okay. Your feelings are valid. But you have the responsibility as the Governor over your body to do the hard and gentle things known as ‘Self Care.’.
And what better time to do some of these things while on vacation?

So. With that warning out of the way. Here’s the list God helped me with.

In no particular order:

*Keep up a routine. Even a small daily routine helps me. I.E. Making the bed, doing the hygiene right after I get up, making tea and sitting down with my journal or computer, etc.

*Get some sunshine or take Vitamin D. (My dad discovered through his research to help me with my own depression that vitamin D is a powerhouse in the fight with this monster.)

*Send out a prayer request. Like I said, I asked some of my new friends to pray, and it helped.

*Creative outlet. Yes. Even on vacation you still need a outlet for your creative energy lest it fester and mould into something dark and inviting. Pick something as small or as big as you’d like. Coloring would be a good one. Creative outlets will help your mind calm down.

*Make some time for God. Even if it’s one worship song in the shower. He wants to help you. Let Him in.

*Take your pills. (Some that help me are: L-Theanine , Acetyl L-Caritine HCI, Alpha Lipoic Acid , Ashwagandha root powder , Saint John’s Wort, Vitamin D, Probiotic Enzymes, etc.)

*Drink some tea and eat some chocolate.

*Do some stretching or Yoga. Movement is gonna help your mental state oh so much.

*Keep your area clean! I can’t express how important this step is. “Your surroundings reflect your mental health.” I don’t remember where I read that. But it’s stuck with me. I tidied up my house and room and vaccumed and swept and oh goodness it helped a ton!

*Do something for you. I don’t know what it is for you, but for me it was taking one of my puppies to the local lake and introducing him to the water. (He loved it by the by.)

*Don’t overindulge multiple times a day, every day. I know it’s oh so tempting. You’re on vacation! And I agree. Indulge a bit. But not all the time. Your body and mind will thank you for the water and for the veggies. Vica Versa, indulging a bit will flood your body and mind with what we in the Trim Healthy Mama community refer to as: Vitamin P(leasure). So go ahead! Eat that cake . But also eat some veg too, dear one.

*Talk it out. If you can then talking to your friends or parents or siblings, anyone, it helps oh so much.

*Read. Play a game. Relax. Chat. Pray. These are all no brainers. But when you are in the midst of your battle . . . You tend to forget the obvious answers. I picked up Animal Crossing on my Switch Lite and at first I was not having fun. (Which is so sad because I adore this game) But I forced myself to play for a while. And you know what? I had fun. It was a hard victory. But I won.

*takes a breath and sips the last of my tea.* Well. That’s it. That’s my list. I’ll be honest and say that I’ve done every single one of these things. And it did help. But it wasn’t a cure all. And I’m having to be okay with that.
I know this beast. And I know one day I will slay it and be free forever. But until that day, God is on my side. And so are my family and friends. You can do this.

Please remember to be kind to yourself. Don’t beat you up because of your fight. Please don’t. I’ve done that and it helps nothing, dear heart.
So please. Be gentle. Be kind. Lean on others and do all you know to do.

I felt so alive coming home from the lake. My skin sun kissed and a slobbering doggo on my lap. I looked out the window and felt clarity for what felt like the first time that week.

After cleaning my house, I didn’t feel as frazzled.

After talking to my mother about my fight, I didn’t feel isolated and alone.

After making iced tea and brownies, I felt calmer.

After making some time for Jesus, I felt loved.

After yoga, my body didn’t ache as much and my mind felt lubricated.

Hours after the pills I felt kinder.

After I painted, my thoughts were quieter.

I hope this talk helped. I’d love to know what helps you out in your battle. Be it a physical fight or a mental one. Luckily for me, my chronic pain wasn’t that bad this week. But I know for some it can hit heavy. I’d love to be able to pray for you. Be it from a ‘I need prayer’ to a specific or detailed request.

Stay strong booklings. You’ve got this and God’s got you.
*waves with a fresh cup of tea in hand.* till next we meet!
~Tiffany Michele.