Ramblings of an overwhelmed author.

My goodness it’s the last week of March! Sadly I haven’t met my writing goal for this month yet, 30k words. I’m sitting pretty at 13k and a whole ton of world building done.

I’ll be honestly with you, I haven’t been the most productive this month. Mostly due to health issues that sprung up from the wood work, so to say. It’s both relieving and hard when your productivity level isn’t all your fault. Relieving because there wasn’t really all that much you can do about it and hard because you think back and wonder if you could’ve pushed through pain and done more.

“What was laziness and what was I couldn’t do it?” This question plagues my mind more times than won’t. It’s annoying and it’s stressful.
It’s also not the greatest cultivator for mental health, lemme tell you.

My relationship with writing has been on the mend since five or so years ago when the love of writing I had seemed to be all but snuffed out. Don’t get me wrong, I still loved my worlds and characters and thinking about them . . . But actually writing filled me with dread and stress and guilt and I could barely form words onto the pages.

Over the past 3 years I’ve been slowly healing my relationship with the written word. In the depths of my depression I couldn’t read an actual book without a TON of effort, and to be honest it’s still hard. But I can read web novels, fanfiction, and manga to the point I exhaust my resources.
Actually writing more than a few paragraphs at a time in “fun” projects like fanfiction was super strenuous and stressful. I barely touched my WIPs for months at a time.

Thankfully now I’m getting better. But with a deadline approaching for my word count, I fight with feelings of “I MUST get this done!!! Otherwise I am a failure . . . “ and “Don’t overwork yourself! Take a break and don’t stress “
I need to find a balance between the two so this week is really a big test in my balancing act between rest and productivity.
Please keep me in your prayers.

How’s your writing going? If you’re not a writer, then how’s your March been?

‘Till next we meet.
~Tiffany Michele.